There were times when I wanted to escape from it all. Nothing too drastic; just thinking of taking a day, a week, or even a month off always came to mind. For some reason, the beginning of 2022 felt extremely exhausting to me. Knowing spring break was coming, it felt like the perfect time to relax before going on a 4-hour drive back home to spend the days off. At home, they asked the usual questions: How’s school? How’s life? Do you have a stable job yet? Have you gone to any bars? How close are you to graduation? The same old, same old.

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What I wanted, what I needed, was a change of pace and scenery. With that in mind, I booked a stay at a small hotel in Ruidoso for a few days, three days to be exact. I’ve never done spontaneous plans like this before and doing something at the last minute was challenging but fun. Before I went, I had to let my parents know I’d take a few days to go to Ruidoso; that way, they would know where I had disappeared to. I also called at work and told them I couldn’t come in because I went to visit my family.

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Spending my days in Ruidoso was great. The cold weather, hiking, walking around the main street, entering the local stores, and seeing deer and elks in the forest; everything delighted me. Luckily, there were no signs of bears; otherwise, this story would have taken a rather dramatic turn or wouldn’t been told at all.

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The nights, however, were something else. Driving was a nightmare as no lights were on the roads. One time, my car almost fell to the side of the road or crashed into a tree. But what was stranger was how the darkness messed with my brain; you think you see things that aren’t there.

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Before I knew it, my last night in Ruidoso came. Everything had gone according to plan; the only thing left was to sleep, and then be back tomorrow morning. That’s what I would’ve wanted, but I woke up out of nowhere at 8 a.m., to be precise. Laying on my bed, I could only move my neck, but I couldn’t make any sounds; not even could open my mouth to scream. After staring at the ceiling for a few seconds, I looked to my right, and there it was, something that would make anyone scream at the top of their lungs if they found it in their room: a tall man.

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That may not sound scary at first, but knowing I had locked my door before I went to sleep and suddenly seeing someone appear out of nowhere in my room the next day did frighten me. Not only that, but the man was tall enough to reach the ceiling by standing straight and had broad features; he could break a log (or my neck) with his bare hands without a second thought. However, what made him stand out the most was that he looked like a shadow, standing menacingly by the window with his back directed at me.

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My heart was racing as if it wanted to leap out of my chest or flatline to spare me the pain. The only thing I could do was think and wonder: am I awake? or am I still sleeping? Is this what meeting a paralysis demon is like?

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I wanted to do something, I wanted to fight, I wanted to scream. But as hard as I tried, there was nothing I could do. It’s a strange feeling to grasp your mortality and know that you are about to die, even if it’s a dream or a nightmare that you know you can’t wake up as much as you fight.

Is this how I die? Alone in a hotel in another state 6 hours away, and another country that was 10 hours away from my family. But what concerned me the most was how long it would take for my family to receive the news. I thought, “Was coming here a bad idea?”. I felt that I should’ve gone to work instead. My many regrets and the many things I wanted to say and do all came to me at once. The one thing that constantly came to mind was: I don’t want to die; I don’t want to die.

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I’ve never felt so powerless before. It is funny how, when I was a kid and through my teenage years, I always imagined scenarios where I thought I could take on anyone. Things like that someone would think to pass the time and entertain himself due to watching too many TV shows. However, when it came to fighting for my life—paralyzed at the mercy of this thing—my heart just raced faster.

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My hands felt loose after a moment, and my only thought was to run away; I grabbed the pillow beside me and threw it with all my strength at the man. But as soon as I threw the pillow, my eyes closed. When I opened them again, 4 hours later, I saw that I had thrown the pillow, but it had hit the window and knocked some things over. From there, I stayed on my bed for another hour until room service knocked on my door. That’s when I knew my time in Ruidoso had ended.

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I showered, packed my things, and left at 2 p.m. Once I returned to El Paso, I passed out on my couch for hours. The next day, I packed my things again and went to see my parents. I never thought hearing them would bring me comfort after what I saw. Once I arrived at their home, they asked: how was Ruidoso? To which I responded, “It was great, you should go there”. In reality, yes, I would go again.

Still, I do not believe in the supernatural. I swear I didn’t smoke anything or took anything during my stay. Maybe it was a messed-up wake-up call for me to appreciate things more, never knowing where my light would be snuffed out by something or someone.