emily torres

February 1

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Anthony,

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          What about me is not enough? Why am I not enough for you to love? Give me a reason for doing this, however bizarre, lie to me. Please –Wait, any answer that you compose will never silence my mind. I can’t need you.

          You traded my trust for an erection. In result I forbade my emotions as just protection. To give you my heart, you only made it bleed as you bargained my loyalty. Like a dog I was true to you, but like a dog you behaved treacherously. When I was struck with love for you I forgot to pay any heed to your lust going elsewhere. I will not forgive your infidelity because in turn it will scathe my morality.

          I cannot erase your actions; rather I shall temporarily distract my heart with debris. I don’t want you.

With Bitterness,

Your Once Love

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April 6

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Rico (Enrique),

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          The subtle pungency from your lips linger as they pair with a creation of smile lines that compliment your squinting devil-may-care eyes. Allow your breath to hover beneath my nose before thrusting it upwards. Our intertwined lips remind me of the tenderness I’ve yearned for as it reinforces the brewery. Your bottom lip consumes mine as my pleasure consumes your fingers. The calluses where your fingers meet your palm edge against my throat. The meeting of our flesh rewires my brain to want you. Only you? To trail your tongue across my neck marks a path of an alcoholic as the intoxication of Crown Royale Original and Jack Daniels Peach fog over me. Perhaps my vision hazes with all of you being smudged upon my glasses.

          In comfort with feeling wanted you’ve marked desire onto me. I need someone; to feel “loved”. I want some lust; from a Rebound.

With Carnality,

Your Illicit Appetite

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June 29

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Von (Stevón),

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          Along with your home you opened up your arms to hold and nurture me.

Laying in your bed staring into your gentle eyes, though only for an hour gave me a sweet sense of tunnel vision. My palms sweat while my mouth dries as it holds my thoughts. I would have believed you were sculpted by the Greeks. As you put your hand on my waist our magnetism holds you there. I’ve forgotten how to breathe around you. I fear if I blink I’ll awaken from this daydream that is your being. I am never apart from you for you’ve learned how to transport our memories into my thoughts and to invade my mind through the gentle forehead kiss that marks our departure.

Whole Heartedly,

Your Wonderful Dream

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July 11

Anthony,

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          To see you weep brings some sense of defeat. I find myself missing the saliva we shared that combined us as one. You forgot to cherish my love, and with the death of us I’ve begun to spiral into perish. I’ve used a man and a gentleman to fill the desperation of love and affection in your absence. No one's body alone will succeed to feed my lust compared to the way you would thrust it onto me. No emotional attachment I made was ever enough to sever the tie I have with the memory you, of us. I aimed to dim us in my moments of weakness, but all I accomplished was wanting to go back to you.

Why? What in my mind believes that to be a plausible idea? I cannot continue to hurt others because you’ve hurt me.

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          No matter what you've done, in my heart there will always be love for you. The kind I feel when we're skin to skin as I discover the intent of love in your eyes. Staring at your naked body, your truest form being glazed by our cum shimmering in the dancing sunlight. I miss your embrace, the way we’d prolong the end of our visits, the way we'd meet our foreheads together. I miss You.

With Longing,

Your Love

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July 15

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Rico (Enrique),

          On your bed after sex you played with my hair and we cuddled until sunset. You revealed that I became more than an orgasm, that you wanted intimacy other than pure physicality. – I’m sorry. I’m unsure if I ever liked you, but I liked the desire you felt for me. The purpose I gave you was to be my Sabotage, but I can no longer accept my mirage. The face you see is not my own, but a way to lure your company.

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          I fear all, if any, emotions that could arise out of us this; I cannot allow for it. With this, I will let you go to protect myself.

With Disregard,

The Object of Your Frustration

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July 15

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Stevón,

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          We were never an option because you were a distraction. In the end, I cannot oblige to only be a friend. I can’t not be by your side without needing to confide my emotions for you that stir inside.

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          I could not bear to see us apart, But…

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          To be held in your arms, hand on my waist, staring at the fibers of my being in your gaze… I hate to say, but you fell in love with the image I drew in the stars. The real me is only a few billion miles far. Forgive me for being someone I’m not. Someone to assume consume your heart.

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Regretfully,

Your Illusion