Qirniq

yonathan baylon

          “What a piece of fucking junk!" I shiver to look through my car door window into the dark forest with snow falling harder than the meteor that took out the dinosaurs.

          My car broke down as I tried to take a shortcut to a nearby hotel. Should I have gone to the mechanic sooner to work out a few kinks? Maybe…but maybe my car should have considered breaking down when I was parking in the lot of the hotel instead of leaving me to freeze to death. Damn it, why did my stupid car say goodnight to me! Should I wait here till morning? Waiting in here is better than going out there, then again I could end up a dead popsicle either way. Just grab my phone, turn on the light, and start going in any direction, just a bar is all I need to call for help. 

          Dad would kill me if he could see me now, “Oh honey we live in the glorious Canadian wilderness, always have something ready to warm yourself up, the snow here is killer.”

          I don’t have extra clothing, blankets, or even a pillow to outlast the cold till morning. Midnight is about to be my last night if I don’t do something and do something soon…I want to see you again dad, even if it’s just so you can chew me out over being a moron tonight. I take a deep breath and look out my door window again, I got this, I can do this. It’s going to be a long night, venturing out is a bad call, hypothermia and frostbite are more likely to get me before help does, and at least in here I have some wall between me and the blizzard. 

          It’s been hours and I am too scared to sleep, I'm pretty sure I can die if my body temperature gets too low, then again does staying awake really change that? God I wish my phone had service, all I can do is keep playing Tetris, but even then I have to conserve battery if I'm gonna try walking somewhere in the morning to get service. My eyes feel heavy and if it wasn’t for the sound of sobbing I'd easily pass out…why am I hearing sobbing out there? Is someone lost too? No no, I have to focus on myself, maybe I’m just hearing things…maybe I’m just hearing…no, if someone is out there I have to help, it’s what I would want for myself. I take a deep breath and turn the flashlight of my phone on as I open the door to my car. I feel like someone shot icicles out of a machine gun at me, snow begins to stab me and winds pierce me. Even covered in layers, wearing gloves, a scarf, and a beanie does little to make me feel warm. I force myself out and up, slam my car door behind me, and shine my light in front of myself. I can see some ways in front of me, but my peripheral vision is clouded by pitch black. At least if a pack of wolves or a bear decided I look appetizing my expiration will have meaning.

          I begin walking toward the sobbing which is past the treeline of the remote road my car is currently napping on. Crazy, crazy is what this is, I think to myself as I begin walking and the sobbing gets louder and louder. At least I’m headed in the right direction, however, my heart sinks, the sobbing stops, and my phone’s light reveals a big man kneeling in front of a white spruce, his head darts up and makes eye contact with me for a split second. I immediately turn my light off and sit down, back myself up behind a birch and cover my mouth to stop the chattering of my teeth. Great, now I'm alone with a stranger in a remote area, lucky me. As the potential danger of the situation hits me I feel a chill, not from the ice running up my back, and I wonder if crawling back to my car and locking the doors is a better choice than approaching him.

          “Hello? I saw you, do you need any help? I would rather be left alone right now, as quickly as possible, if that’s ok,” his voice is cracking, yet soothing all the same.

          I swallow my worries and decide to stand back up and shine my light at him again, as I do so I see the man has a gun, a handgun wrapped in all his fingers.

          I feel my heart sink and my fear spreads across my face, his eyes widen and his face turns red, “NO NO NO, IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK, here let me just.”

          He does not finish his sentence, merely holsters his handgun and avoids eye contact with me. I feel tense, like I’m intruding on something I’m not supposed to, and it makes me feel sick to my stomach.

          “What are you doing out here?” I ask with hesitation present in my voice.

          The man softly and quietly responds, “I am um…out hunting for jackrabbits, you can call me Inuksuk, Inuk for short, you are?”

I          wasn’t an expert when it came to hunting for jackrabbits, but I don’t think coming out when it’s this dark and cold with a handgun is ideal.

          “Well Inuk, my name is Willow, and unlike a hunter such as yourself, I'm pretty lost out here, my car broke down and I really need any help I can get.”

          He gets off his knees and approaches me, I am still contemplating turning my light off and running, he looks at me for a while and murmurs under his breath before speaking, “My truck is a ways back from here, I can give you a ride to wherever you want but it better be close.”

          I feel like something else is going on, I just met Inuk but he is offering to help me, and it’s not like I have many choices besides getting murdered by him or being a bloody snow woman. We start the trek to his truck.

          There is an awkward silence in the air, so naturally, I decide to open my mouth to gauge him, “Why jackrabbits of all critters? Don’t you think they’re kind of cute?”

          Inuk quickly retorted, “Cute!? Those pests eat everything, they even eat their own young when they're starving, like kids chowing down on Halloween candy.”

          I take a closer look at Inuk, his facial features are fair, and I zone out a little looking into his hazel brown eyes wondering if I will see some malevolent spark. I think my staring and lack of a response to his comment made things more awkward, he puts his gloved hands in his pockets and looks straight ahead away from me.

          “Well when you put it like that it sounds like they can be pretty self-destructive despite being cute, the jackrabbits I mean.”

          Inuk looks at me and I can swear I see a small smirk forming at the corners of his frown.

          “Well sometimes they are better off laid to rest, their voracious appetite can put others and themselves in a bad spot when crops need to be harvested.”

          I can’t help but nervously giggle at this morbid topic, being afraid of my current situation.

          “I think all creatures have a purpose, even if they are destructive or self-destructive, they have some value, wouldn’t you agree?”

          Inuk looks lost in thought for a bit over my statement, then he stares at me, my mind begins to race, I wonder what’s going through his head, is this the part where he decides to shoot me because he’s a serial killer after all?

          “I can see someone like you having purpose easily, something tells me you're talented,” he remarks sincerely.

          I smile at him, “Yeah, talented at not being prepared for the tundra I’m moving into.”

          Inuk chuckles and we finally get out of the forest and into the open. I see his truck with its lights on and the driver’s seat door wide open. He tells me to hop in and I slowly walk for the passenger seat, cautiously closing the door behind me, cutting off the icy demons from sapping my soul further as the already turned on heater blasts me with rays of sunlight.

          He gets into the driver’s seat and closes his door as well, “So where to? You got family around? A place to stay?”

          I thought for a bit before answering him, “Well my dad is far away, I'm staying at a nearby hotel, I actually grew up here but moved away for a while to go to college, and now the prodigal daughter has returned for good.”

          Inuk puts his hands on the wheel, and slots the truck keys into the ignition, doing a u-turn then driving forward.

          “I’ll leave you off at the nearby hotel then, I know the place, afterward I'll be on my way.”

          His words enter my ears, my mind races with possibilities of something going wrong, it seems like Inuk doesn’t have bad intentions, at least, so far. Then it hits me, the truck left unlocked and running, his loneliness in the darkness until I showed up, the gun in his hands when I found him kneeling. He’s helping me, and I'll return the favor. I feel determined to stop him from coming back out here.

          “You know I haven’t been here in forever, I could use some help getting reacquainted, would you mind sharing breakfast with me tomorrow? I could use a local friend.”

          Inuk keeps his focus on the road and I feel like he won’t answer me, but he spoke, “I’d like that…thank you, Willow.”

          I look over at him, “What are you thanking me for? I would have been ice cream come morning if I didn’t find you, I appreciate your help, it means a lot to me.”

          I look straight ahead at the snow-covered road, silhouettes of red oaks passing by, out of the corner of my sight I can swear I see single tears come out of Inuk’s puffy eyes, and another thank you said so silently I can barely make it out. I feel content, something tells me I will see him tomorrow, and hopefully a few more times after that, in all honesty, a friend would be nice here in my old stomping grounds.

          “Do you know of Atshen?” he asks.

          I respond with another question, “No, what is Atshen?”

          He tells me it is an evil spirit that hunts in the permafrost, it can take hold of people's minds and make them give in to despair.

          I ponder why he is bringing up something so random considering our previous conversation, “Do you think these evil spirits are real?”

          Inuk takes a deep breath, “I don’t know, maybe they can be an excuse, something to throw our issues on to avoid accountability.”

          I think I understand what he is trying to tell me, more or less, “Well if that is the case then we would all have Atshen no? We all struggle to keep going when things get rough, I know I did before I bumped into you tonight.”

          Inuk appears less tense up to this point and my own hesitance feels, less so, “Why did you listen to me back there, when I asked if you needed help, weren’t you scared I would hurt you?”

          I ball my right hand into a fist, rest my arm on the door next to me, and rest my face on my knuckles, “I think between freezing to death and taking a chance with someone who might shoot me, the latter seemed more favorable.”

          Inuk’s grip on the wheel relaxes, “If I’m being honest I wondered if you were a ghost coming to haunt me, I was pretty spooked to see your pale face when your light revealed me, looking like the Corpse Bride.”

          I furrow my brows, “From my point of view,  I thought I ran into a murderous Smokey Bear when your eyes first met mine.”

          Inuk starts laughing at my comeback, and my slight annoyance at his comment concerning my appearance being ghastly fades away into a small smile on my face. We remain soundless, on this silent drive through the snowfall, at the dead of night.