NO RING

 

PART 1: Bull

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Feed them. Clothe them. Wash them. Comb their hair. Hospitalize them. School them. Give them toys. All and that 12. A hard-working mother. That’s who I am.

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God sees me. I am justified. Justice will come to me.

Justice will come to their fathers.

They will receive their rewards. Every one of them.

I am tired.

I want relief. I scroll through my phone for the release. No sooner, I see

Three mouths coming towards me chirping, “Mommy I’m hungry”.

McDonald’s. A quick meal it is. Such a relief for that quick meal and for me too.

My precious 12.

Clothes scattered on the floor. “Don’t worry about that now,” 12 said.

Your rest is more important for me.

12 has given me a nice place to live. It’s a lovely place.

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For me and my three children. I have to give them a bath. Just a quick wash. Sometimes, I tell them to wash themselves. They are smart. They need to know how to wash themselves. I can’t spend much time on this. I have to return to 12 soon. I don’t have much time on their heads either. When I finally get the time, I have to comb out the kinks. Their crying. It’s unnecessary. “Ouch, it hurts” they say. They are doing too much. If they don’t stop, I will have to pop them. It is ridiculous that they do all this crying. Now don’t let it be long hair. That’s even more strenuous to deal with. That’s too much work. Short hair is more manageable, like mine.

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At times, I can’t get to 12. Please! Be reasonable with me 12! I have to take them to the emergency room. Something is wrong with them. Something is always wrong with them. They always charging into things that they shouldn’t get into. Please understand 12.  For you are the one that gives them iPads and toys. It gives me relief to see them intrigued by them long enough for me to have energy for you tomorrow.

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Don’t you get it now. I need to have energy for my 12. I don’t have the time really for nothing else. I’m tired. So tired that it will cause me to get angry. I get angry. I’m stressed most of the time. I get irritated. You understand. My children come galping at me saying I’m hungry. Wait a minute! I’m on the phone. I need rest. Give me a minute!

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Clothes on the floor.

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I’m sorry. I forgot them. I forgot that they were right there. I was tired. At least they have a roof over their heads. We live in a nice apartment. Of course I’m not going to leave them dirty. Are you crazy? But I can’t take much time on washing them for that long. I’m tired. It would be better if they do it themselves without me being there. But at least they are washed. I can’t get to their hair either. I don’t have the time to manage it. Please don’t let it be long. It’s too hard. I can cut it to make it easier to deal with. That’s what I can do. That’s all I can do. I’m tired.

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Suddenly something is wrong with them. Something is always wrong with them. It comes up out of nowhere! I could be in the middle of doing something and all of a sudden I hear a loud burst of crying somewhere else in the house, so I have to take them to the emergency room again. I can’t get a break! I wish the school would keep them longer. And, in the summer, I need to come up with something quick! I can’t stay home to watch them. I have to see 12! “Mommy, come play with me, they say. “Come and play with me mommy.” NO! I can’t play with you. Go and play with your toys. You have your iPad. You have the tv. Where’s the remote?  Where did y’all put the remote at because I can’t play. I’m tired! Mommy is tired. So tired ALL the time! DAMNATION to your father! To all your fathers that left me and are no good. I WILL RECEIVE JUSTICE! GOD COMNDEM THEM. THEY WILL PAY!

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Smoking. Raging.

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PART 2: Crouching Lion

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Why do you always feed them fast food? They need some real food. Something that will stick to their stomachs. That’s why they’re always hungry! You are not feeding them properly. Including yourself! You are overweight!

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You are messy. Not a good cleaner. Why do you always leave clothes on the floor. The place is a mess!

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That’s good you put them in a good apartment, but you could have had a home instead with me if you didn’t have that attitude.

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Why is it that every time you run their bath water, you always leave them in their alone to play in the water? Why are you telling them to wash themselves? THEY ARE TOO YOUNG! They don’t know how to thoroughly wash themselves. That’s why the water is always so dirty. You don’t clean them good.

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Tangled hair. They scream when you touch their manes. What are you doing to them? Why didn’t you untangle it before? And whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy on God’s green earth would you cut their hair? It’s bad enough that our hair can’t grow like that. You damaged their hair. It won’t grow the same.

 

What are you doing to them? You always going to the hospital. Something is always wrong with them. Are you not watching them like you should? You are not watching them properly. That’s why they are either hurt or sick. Why don’t you want to deal with your own children? Every time I turn around they are either with their grandmother or someone else has them.

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Saying that you need a break. YOU always need a break! Partying, clubbing. You always have them playing with their toys alone. You always have them on the iPad or watching tv. They want to play with YOU, their mother! Why do you shove them like that? Why do you talk to them like that? Correction half of the time turns into abuse. You abuse them. You neglect them. You are not a good mother. You are always tired because you can’t get a lion to take care of you!

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PART 3: Charge

 

Bull: Damnation to you! Who are you to tell me that? I AM A GOOD MOTHER AND I AM WORTH IT! (27) I AM A GOOD MOTHER! 28 Justice will I get from you! (30).  I will get you! (32). You all are not right. (37). None of you are right. (38). I am a good mother (39). I am good to them (40) Not one of you. (41) Not one of………….. 42.

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Fairy tale. Cinderella. Glass slipper.

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Daddy? Why don’t I have a glass slipper?

Why don’t I have one? It looks so pretty with

The white dress. Maybe even pink. With my

Little pink shoes. I even have a sparkly crown with it.

Look Daddy! I’m a princess. 

Am I a princess Daddy? Where are you? Was I ever one?

My body looked like Cinderella before I was alone with mommy.

I had hair before mommy cut it. I was happy before mommy

Start to yell at me. I didn’t get into trouble until after you left.

Daddy? I wanted to play princess with you. You were the King.

Mommy was the Queen. I was the princess. You ruled

With an iron fist. You had power in the palm of your hand.

Daddy, you were the greatest! We played princess once before time.

You said no boy can get to me. They wasn’t even allowed in my room.

You had my brother play bodyguard with me, even though he got on my nerves.

Daddy, I did a lot of exploring when you left. You said

That I needed to be protected more than my brother. Men

Think differently than women. We get into stuff easily. We cry

Easily. You said that’s why God created you and my brother so that

We wouldn’t get into trouble, but I got into trouble.

I got into things daddy. Three of them I can’t get out of to this day.

I was told that I won’t be able to get out of it until 18 years have passed.

They give me aches. I am pained most of the time. Mommy and me

Gotten into trouble easily. You wasn’t there to play bodyguard with me.

I got loved, bitten, torn, tossed, and left to die by mean lions. 

I am very confuse daddy. If I was to ever see you again,

Would I still be call your princess?

I know I’m not exactly like Cinderella. I’m bigger than she is.

I have no hair, but when I wear a pretty wig, I have long hair.

I have three children. She has none. I had 5 men. She had one.

Does that make me more wanted if she had one and I had 5?

I gotten more attention than her. I get angry at times but that’s

Because I’m alone by myself. Just like when you left mommy alone with me.

Daddy, tell me. Am I still a princess? Those mean lions say that I can’t be one.

Can’t I?

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Elder Lion:

I’m so sorry baby girl, but you can’t be one. You have gotten into so much trouble.

 

Bull:

I can’t be one? What are you saying daddy?

You agree with those mean lions? How can you say that?

You LEFT ME! YOU LEFT ME with my mom! Why did you leave

Me with her? She was mean to me and didn’t give me any attention.

She didn’t care for me good. Why did you make me? Why did you and

Mom make me? You were the leader daddy. You said you know more than mommy did.

If she wasn’t good, why didn’t you leave her alone?

I could have never been born to suffer like this. I could have never been born!

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Elder Lion: I’m sorry baby girl. I’m so very sorry.

 

Bull:

Daddy, you told me that being a princess was the greatest thing a girl

can ever be. It means everything. If I can’t be a princess, then

Is it okay for me to sleep? Can I lay down and sleep daddy?

I can make myself sleep forever. The pain hurts so much.

That’s what I did when I was little. I would sleep and the pain

Would go away when I wake up. I’ll just sleep it off. I’m sleepy daddy.

I’m tired. I will go and sleep forever, daddy. I will go and sleep.

 

I plan to sleep…..

 

Daughter. My daughter. Does thou know that if

Thy father and mother forsake you, I will lift you up.

If they forsake you, I will lift you

And teach you the way and lead you on

The straight path, different from your

Father and mother, and escape from your enemies.

 

Daughter:

Father. I am older now. I am withered,

Used, abused, fat, and ugly. Who wants me?

What lion king would want me now? I am crippled.

 

Daughter. Does thou think that anything is too hard for Me?

For Sarah, your ancestor, laughed at me. To think it was

Impossible for her to give birth at an old age. Have you not known?

Have you not read that I added 15 more years to

Your ancestor King Hezekiah’s lifespan when he pleaded to me

Because he was about to die on his bed? When Sarah gave birth

To Issac, didn’t I let her live to see her son grow up

Until he was 37 years of age?  I am I AM. I am everything.

I created everything you see before you every day.

I am the God of all flesh. I am the potter. You the clay.

I can do what I please to my clay creation. I can restore

And make you anew. Hope thou in me. For I am your only hope.

Don’t you know my history of being merciful? I am a merciful God

And with me is plenteous redemption. I shall redeem you and others

Like you from all your inquiries. I can save you. Heal you from all

Your troubles that compass you daily if you will seek to find me.

I cannot heal your whole situation if you are not willing to find me.

Find Me. Seek Me out. Ask, and it shall be given. Seek and you shall find.

Knock, and it shall be open the keys of understanding. The secret to success.

Come and find me Daughter. For I know your plight.

Behold! It is I, that gave you your hardships. For I gave it to you

Many generations passed. I gave you your pain. For the pain

The many yous cause Me before time. I pleaded with you.

I took you back a many times before and you still you listen not.

You refuse to listen to your Father. Therefore, I took everything away.

Because of your disobedience and follow not my rules, I took away

Your natural slim figure and gave you a bulge. I took

Your protection (your men) away and subject you to

Mean, irresponsible, hurtful lions. I took away your

Children (abortion, homosexuality, interracial relations (

The wearing away your race from extinction), kidnappings,

Selling off, auction off, rape). I subject you to humiliation

(debauchery of your men (sodomy), chains, a yoke of iron

Around your neck). I took away your gentle, quiet spirit and

Replace it with anger, hate, and rage. I took away your natural

Beauty, your long hair and made you bald (aloticpa).

Don’t you know that your fluffy hair once covered your entire body

When you obeyed Me?  Don’t you know that I gave you

A natural slim figure when you obeyed Me? You didn’t even

Have to exercise because I planted in your kind a natural girdle.

Your slim figure went back to the way it was when you had

Children, with your husbands. I took away your identity.

Your heritage. You don’t know who you are and whom you belong to.

You own nothing. You have no inheritance and because you have no

Inheritance, your enemies call you inferior, worthless, cattle. A byword

You are. I took away your culture (THE LAW) and gave you into

Lawlessness: Fornication (dealing with multiple people instead of one),

Confusion (not knowing how to marry and keep marriage),

Whoredom (dotness), loudmouthness (anger), glutton (obesity).

Nobody wants you. Never going to be nobody’s wifey as the saying goes.

I made you undesirable. Unwanted. You suffered because you

Didn’t listen to me, daughter of Zion. Princess and Mother of Nations.

Your kind did not listen. Daughter. My daughter. Come back to Me,

Your Father and I will come back to you to give you hope again.